Design Bind

(For reference, I’m aware that the title of this post is not especially witty.  So if you’re thinking that too, then we’re on the same page.)

Guys, my internal sense of design zen is really not in a good place at the moment.  For one thing, My Man and I are absolutely BURSTING at the seams of our 530 square foot apartment, which we adore but have simply outgrown.

For another, no matter where we go, it will still be small.  And I will still probably not be able to re-wire the lighting and hang expensive pendant lamps designed by George Nelson for Eames.  Or afford expensive pendant lamps designed by George Nelson for Eames.

It’s the big small things in life.

In a perfect world, I could have a house with classic bones, which I could fill with all kind of 70’s/danish/modern/doesn’t matter style furniture AND my beloved George Nelson saucer pendant, and everything would be happy.

Instead, I have a paper lantern.

But I’ll live.

BUT since we’re talking about it, in that perfect world, skylights would probably be involved.  And beautiful hardwood floors.  Maybe even with several different kinds of wood.  Also, a Viking stove.  (It’s a PERFECT world, okay you guys?  I’m not greedy.  I’m just bein’ honest.)

Instead I have a dirty wall-to-wall carpet.  And a Maytag stove.  It’s like, plastic or something.  But it’s okay.

Guys.  Gay men designed this corner.  And the rest of the house that goes with it.

I want to be there, obviously.  Gay men and all.  (Obviously.)

I haven’t mentioned yet the amazing reupholstered classic chairs that would exist in my perfect world, but they would still be comfortable to sit in (important) and fun fabric would definitely be involved.  Really fun fabric.  Because if it’s not fun, who needs it?  (I got a little uninspired towards the end of that impromptu catchphrase, and I’m sorry about that.)

There would be molded plywood chairs for Eames (are we sensing a theme here?) and fun bookshelves.  There would not be a cat.  (Sorry, cat people.)

Guys. Guys!  Rolling ladders!  Who hasn’t invited themselves to the rolling ladder party yet?!  (Also…is that a hammer and sickle???  What is going on here?)

If you haven’t, this is your formal invitation.  It’s the rolling ladder train.  Hop on.  We gonna have ourselves some FUN!

(In all seriousness, though, pretty much everything else in this room would have to go.  Redecoration station, people.)

There’s an excellent chance that my dream house would be filled with color, but also with functional-yet-neutral furniture pieces to balance that out.  It would not, however, have a tree stump as a coffee table. How much do you want to kick that thing??  (PS: Yes, in the wider shot of this same room, there are two shell Eames chairs hanging out with some sheepskin rugs.  I am nothing if not predictable. But…fun, too.)

Oh good God.

Pendant lights, subway tile, salvaged wood, turquoise stools, butcher block island, perfect life, perfect house, YES.  Just yes yes yes yes yes.  All of these things.

It’s not that I would give away my firstborn for a kitchen like this, but it’s more like it’s alarmingly close to that.  We shouldn’t dwell on it, actually.  I think I’m weeping.  Am I weeping?

I think my dream home just magically morphed into a beach house in Turks and Caicos, because I want this.  I think we’re probably going to have to stick to the original plans of at least five houses.  Preferably, paid for by someone else.  Seriously, though, don’t you just want to fall asleep on that couch?  It doesn’t really look that comfortable, but that’s beside the point.  Someone bring me a gin and tonic.

You guys, I have to go mentally redecorate every inch of those 530 square feet now.  Please excuse me.

Also: this baby blog had its first anniversary last week, and it’s had over 5300 hits in its maiden voyage year.  That’s like, ten hits for every square foot in my apartment!  (I’ll stop now.)

On a more real note, thanks for reading!  I think I probably know most of you, and it makes me feel really good that my friends and family who are (mostly) very far away can keep up with my inane babble.  Because I know you miss it when I go away.  Nobody likes quiet.  I’ll try to keep it up and stop disappearing for weeks at a time!

Love yaz!