Life

Dipping my toe in

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Life is weird sometimes. You get stuck in your routine – your sometimes super mundane, not-even-particularly-enjoyable routine that you don’t even notice because it is SO routine – and then, when you are shocked out of it – and we are talking electric chair shocked out of it – you are completely at sea.

Sorry – did I say “you?” I meant “me.” “I.”

I feel like I’ve been in nonstop transition since last July. In some ways, even earlier than that, but I feel like my 29th birthday was the start of a particularly transitiony time (that’s a word and we’re sticking with it).

Leaving my job, moving away from the Bay area, leaving almost all of my friends, death and illness in the family, and trying to figure out who I am when I haven’t been told explicitly what is expected of me by someone else has been, in a word, exhausting.

I can’t believe how tired I am.

There are good sides, of course: reconnecting with all of my in-laws in Colorado (this is, thankfully, not sarcasm: they are great), taking on meditation as a daily practice (heretofore unseen and unimagined – nay, abhorred – in this life of mine), and, I guess, if I am feeling particularly wise (which I’m not, really), being shocked out of my happy little comfort zone. As difficult as life in the Bay sometimes felt, I had my people a stone’s throw away. I had a successful career that was basically handed to me (although I worked my butt off for it). I had wine. Always, I had wine.

I’m cooking again. A LOT. Really good stuff. I’ll share it if I have the energy, which I may not. Otherwise, a follow on my Instagram stories should tell you most of what you need to know. But it’s bringing me joy, and that’s what’s most important.

A friend recently commented that she had almost missed my transition to Denver entirely due to the fact that I had been conspicuously absent from social media since the move. It was interesting to hear someone else notice this. I had indeed made a conscious effort to take a step back from social media (and, in some ways, most communication), due solely to the fact that what was in my brain did not feel share-worthy. Nobody likes a bummer, amirite?

Well, I may not be right, as it turns out. As I’m starting to learn, sometimes it’s important to ask for help. As much as it might seem like our struggles are on display to the world when we are suffering, people often have no idea. And when they don’t know, they can’t help.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have family and friends who, when called upon, are rock stars of support. And allow me to be clear: they aren’t mind readers. Nor should they be. That isn’t their responsibility. But stepping up and asking for help these last few months has been one of the most important things I’ve ever done. Oof, learning lessons is humbling.

I didn’t really have a goal with this post, other than to start writing again – because writing is so important to me, and has been so neglected – and to kind of say: hello, world. I’m sticking my head out of my shell. Checking the temperature out there. Looking for signs of life. Showing that I still have mine, and that I should be living it.

So, hi. ❤

 

Dogs, Life

Ode to Huckleberry

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Today is the one-year anniversary of us becoming dog owners. I thought about writing a post about the first few weeks of Huck’s life as our dog, but instead, I decided to write a rap (to the tune of “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” theme song (any similarities in the lyrics are totally just a coincidence) and THEN to tell you about the first few weeks of his life. Because my blog, my life, my rules, lots of foot stomping, blah blah blah. You know the drill.  Continue reading “Ode to Huckleberry”

Coaching, Life

The Email Project

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[Please note: I took this picture. It’s not a stock photo. I haven’t fallen that far yet.]

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. (I know, I know, cue a collective gasp from the audience.)

I value other people. I value connection. And above all else, I value making other people feel awesome.

Someone told me recently about a project that she’d heard about where a person wrote a letter a day, every day, for 21 days. The idea was to focus on sending someone nice thoughts about how great they are every day. Supposedly, it does really good things for your daily positivity and your general good vibes-y-ness. (You know?)

Well, the truth is, I hate mailing things. Thinking about the post office makes my blood run cold and my cortisol levels spike like none other, and since that’s where you go to get stamps, I just really can’t. (“But, Tess! You can get stamps at the pharmacy or on Amazon!” Don’t you think I know that? This is my blog. Let me live my life.)

But in the last week or so, I’ve received two or three emails (and even text messages!) that just absolutely made my day. The power that your words can have over another person are really astonishing, and when you harness that power for good, you can do some really neat things.

So I am embarking on a little project of my own: The Email Project. I believe in the power of the written word, and in the power of love, and I believe that sending one thoughtful email a day for the next several weeks will leave me feeling totally great. Will it be quite as touching as a mailed letter? Perhaps not. But will it touch other people just the same, and also save some trees? Sure will.

Let’s do it! Who’s with me? And if you’re in, will you leave a comment? Sometimes I start to think that I’m all alone here…

Family, Life, Uncategorized

You Can Go Home Again (But It Will Be Humid)

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I’ve just (ish) returned from an epic, whirlwind tour of the East Coast. And by East Coast, I mean the tri-state area.  And by tri-state area, I mean…never mind. I just got back from the East Coast. Let’s just leave it at that.

I have some observations about the place from whence I hailed (if this is not proper Shakespearean English, I could not be less interested) that I would like to share with you. Please. Sit back, pour yourself some bourbon/wine/water (no judgement) and allow me to regale you with tales of my homeland. Okay, let’s do it.

Interior Design, Life, Moving

Things I Would Like To Like to Be Near

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I think that maybe the title of this post is not grammatically correct, and I do not care. I would like to make it clear that I tried. Moving on!

So, we’ll be moving in the next few months, and it has come to my attention that we’ll likely be ending up somewhere that will need a bit of (ahem) TLC in order to look nice. As such, I have been scouring the world’s number one spot for stealing other people’s ideas, Pinterest, to try to find fun ideas that I could potentially incorporate into yet another living space in which am not allowed to paint or knock down walls. Grrrrrr.

I’m not feeling that Hemingway-ish at the moment, so let’s just dive into some pictures and talk about them. Any suggestions you (yes, YOU! You there.) might have would be extremely welcome regarding making a drab rental look less drab/rental-ish, and also if anyone would like to give me a nice house in the Bay Area, that would be really terrific and I would be super appreciative.  We’ve got work to do!

Life, Love

On Life Changes

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[the setup – and yes, he was smart enough to bring booze AND chocolate]

Here’s the deal: this is going to be a quick-ish life update post, and then we’ll have the funnies and the eats coming quickly thereafter. Deal? Deal.

For those of you that have somehow managed to avoid this news (and kudos to you: I have been most persistent), My Man and I got engaged about a month and a half ago. It happened in gorgeous, perfect Moab on a gorgeous, perfect evening (well, it was cloudy – perfect to me) while some weirdos watched from a nearby RV (yay!), and I am very, very, very happy.

There is something very seemingly “grownup” about the process of getting engaged – suddenly, people seem to think that you are capable of making huge life decisions and that you know what you want from your future, and that maybe you can afford to buy furniture or a house or something. Allow me to be clear: we don’t and we can’t and we have no idea what is going on. We are both still just as confused as we were a month ago, except the difference is that we know we’ve got a buddy (is it weird to call him a buddy?) to work through the confusion with moving forward. And that’s kind of nice.  Tell me more!

Food, Life

How To Not Be A Jerk, and also Green Smoothies.

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I’ve been thinking, guys.  Dangerous stuff.

Over the course of my lifelong quest for perfection, I have found many things.  First of all, the very act of being on a lifelong quest for perfection has a tendency to turn any human into an awful, anal-retentive beyond belief totally stressful bore. It’s a bummer.

But what does that mean?  Continue to strive for perfection, but relax sometimes?

Okay. How hard is that? For me, REALLY hard. I can compare this in some ways to the Atkins diet.  Please come along with me on this metaphorical exploration. Let’s go!