Things I Would Like To Like to Be Near

I think that maybe the title of this post is not grammatically correct, and I do not care. I would like to make it clear that I tried. Moving on!

So, we’ll be moving in the next few months, and it has come to my attention that we’ll likely be ending up somewhere that will need a bit of (ahem) TLC in order to look nice. As such, I have been scouring the world’s number one spot for stealing other people’s ideas, Pinterest, to try to find fun ideas that I could potentially incorporate into yet another living space in which am not allowed to paint or knock down walls. Grrrrrr.

I’m not feeling that Hemingway-ish at the moment, so let’s just dive into some pictures and talk about them. Any suggestions you (yes, YOU! You there.) might have would be extremely welcome regarding making a drab rental look less drab/rental-ish, and also if anyone would like to give me a nice house in the Bay Area, that would be really terrific and I would be super appreciative. 

Let’s talk bedroom. In a lot of rentals, bedrooms are kind of the easiest room to make less fugly, due to their lack of details and general blandness upon move-in. I am totally into the idea of a fun, DIY-style headboard, but good lord, can we talk about the splinters that this thing would cause? Like, this is a great headboard and all. Just don’t touch it ever.

Also, is there a starfish inside of that lamp? I also like that whomever made this bed had time to style at least five enormous pillows, but was too lazy to fold that blanket. I don’t know how I got onto this tangent. Please ignore me.

Some people know that we almost moved to New York instead of Berkeley, and maybe if we had lived there, this is what our bedroom would have looked like. Does anyone know how to fake a brick wall? Am I going to have to learn how to paint murals? That’s a dealbreaker. Never mind.

When I chose this picture to use in this particular post, I thought, “Hey! There’s a fairly blank-looking room with good examples of added details to make it more interesting looking.”

Then I woke up to actual reality, and noticed the sneaky stained built-ins and brand-new hardwood floors, and then remembered how most rentals have like, popcorn ceiling and old carpet.

So. This is to say the following: it’s cool how they used fake moulding to frame some wallpaper, I like that chandelier, and if I ever try to put that many pillows on a couch, I will be thrown out of my home by the other resident who prefers to sit places where there is actually room to SIT.

Also, I cannot tell if I like that coffee table, or if it’s an ottoman cleverly disguised as a coffee table, or if it looks like wallpaper attacked a coffee table. I really need time to think about this.

This bathroom section is two-pronged: one picture for the intensely pragmatic, and one to pretend that you live in the movie Aladdin. I’ll let you decide which is which. Regarding the picture above, suffice it to say that I could spend roughly the rest of my life creating things out of mason jars. Don’t worry about how I haven’t done any of those projects yet. I’m certain that it will happen eventually.

I’m not sure how this picture ended up in this post. Occasionally, I like to see things that remind me that there IS life after rentals. Also. Can we talk about the toilet? Looks like sort of a weak effort considering what the rest of this room looks like. I mean honestly.

My Man is not one to gripe about lack of space, but he has made one particular thing crystal clear: when we upgrade in terms of space, he gets a mancave/study. I am considering submitting this picture to him as a potential inspiration for that space, but I won’t get my hopes up.

Also. Who is that terrifying lady? And why must the massive printer be positioned right in front of that glorious window? Hasn’t anyone actually looked at this room?

Not to beat a dead horse, but – these people took enough time to artfully arrange some editions of the Encyclopedia Britannica on that vintage desk, but they couldn’t spring for a low table? Come ON.

There are not many parts of me that consistently drink good gin, buy things made of crystal, or hang WASPy paintings of sailboats on my walls. But the very tiny part of me that does is like: how baller is this?

In all seriousness, a legitimate bar needs to be in our future. I don’t really understand why they took up all that space with a lamp that could be filled with booze, but to each their own, I guess (I don’t mean that. This is a ridiculous setup). Also, lamp filled with booze. I didn’t mean it that way, but now: so many thoughts.

This picture has many things that I want but don’t have, including but not limited to a decent-sized outdoor recreation area, designer chairs, a reclaimed wood table, and twinkly lights.

There appear to be some ferns on that table as well, and I’m good without those, thanks. But (especially seeing as we’re moving to California), a nice outdoor area would be seriously delightful. Until then, I have this picture. (Those of you thinking, “Not good enough” – you are correct.)

This is the part where I say “IF ONLY, if only,” and then stare longingly for a while. But for real. If only.

I mean, this too. Does anyone think it’s out of line to ask whether these places have a Moroccan-style poolhouse, complete with fireplace? It seems to me that any rental without one these days just isn’t competitive.

So, world: how will we decorate our new apartment? Only time will tell. (This blog will tell, also, as soon as we actually move and find a place to live. Pinky swear!)